Home, by definition, is the place where one lives permanently. But as many of us know, "permanent" is a loose term and few things stay the same forever. Life happens, things change. I'm not quite sure what sucks more about change, having to let go of your old comfortable habits or embarking upon the unknown. It can be terrifying, exhausting, overwhelming. It can open the door to everything you ever desired for your life, or it can open the door to a new segue, or it can open the door to yet another misstep. It all depends upon the perspective of the person in the control seat. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Despite the fact that you might not be in control of the change or how it all unfolds, you are always in control of the perspective you hold. You can engage in a new situation with fear, or embrace it with pride.
I've been reminded of this many times before, as there have been many chapters to open and close already in my short life. I've passed through many physical homes and yet still felt incredibly ungrounded. Something that I am learning upon reflection is that I have never regretted anything that I have done, any decision I have made. Right or wrong I am able to stand by all of my choices. The only thing that I do regret though, is the worry/fear/concern that I had for all the decisions that I could not control. Anxiety kills joy, and anxiety is nothing more than worry for that which you cannot control. Anxiety makes you feel alone and insecure, like any step could potentially be the wrong step. Anxiety takes away your power and shakes your sense of "home." Where Home represents unconditional love and security, anxiety represents a general lack of control and stability.
But home is a matter of perspective, not necessarily a physical state. Home is a space where you experience comfort, rootedness, support, stability and from that space you can feel ourselves free to move and shake as you please. Home gives you confidence. When life goes to hell you can always go home. The house that holds all of our belongings can be "home," but not always. It is this facade of home that makes you believe that you are ungrounded and unsafe when you are away from it. It makes you fear that you are no longer capable of anything.
Home is truly the space in which your Soul resides. This is the space within you where you are always accepted, safe, capable of anything. The Soul always accepts, grounds and supports you, reminding you that you are capable of anything. It is the human in each of usyouthat doubts this truth. It is this level of acceptance that allows you to move through life with excitement and positive anticipation of all that lays ahead. It is this safety that reminds you to trust because when you are at home you are OK. What if you were able to wake up every morning and not doubt your power or your path, but know that through all the fears and doubts you can always come back to that beautiful space within you that reminds you that all is well and it always will be. At the end of each day, life has come and gone and it is done, can you accept that, trusting that you did your best and you are now exactly where you need to be. You are home.
Home is love in its truest sense: an energy of total acceptance, safety, security. This space doesn't need to be filled with possessions to hold energy, this energy can be held within you and taken anywhere. This inner home, inner Soul grounds you no matter what house you wake up in. You are right here, right now and that is perfect.
Life happens, and sometimes it happens in unkind, painful ways. But when life goes on... do you? Or do you allow yourself to hold back, never quite opening up the same way you once did because of the pain or the "lesson" of the last experience? Humanity tends to take on pain, give it a name and a face and add it to the repertoire of the "who I am" chest. This is what separates adults from children: the pain, the lack of innocence. Something that is beautiful about the mentality of a child is their openness to entering into situations without preconceived notions of how it might end up- or more importantly, notions of how bad the situation might be.
Negativity happens, sometimes far too often. When adverse situations arise you are given the opportunity to learn and grow. Though it is difficult to paint a pretty picture out of a painful one, this can serve as a silver lining to it. The ideal situation is to experience trauma, learn the lesson then let go of the pain so that you can come out on the other side a bit wiser and entirely intact. Sometimes though, when you experience something that is truly traumatic you may pass through to the other side and you may even learn the lesson along the way, but you are so innately terrified of running into the same problem again that you "handcuff" yourself to this experience. Either you perceive that you cause pain, or you experience enough pain that you want to make sure that you never EVER again go through it.
The issue here is that you no longer enter into life with an open mind, but with a fear of experiencing that particular pain again. Nothing is quite the same.
Now you are entering into all future similar instances with fear and hesitance of how it may end up, no longer entering into life with an openness to all the magical possibilities that can play out. On a deeper level you are also not trusting that you learned the lesson- you are not allowing yourself to move on. It was so painful that you want to never experience it again, but you are also not allowing it out of your sight for fear that it might creep up on you again... think about that logic for a moment.
What if you looked back on some of the most painful experiences of your life and instead of fearing that you might experience them again, you congratulate yourself for making it through with your head held high because you learned something and became a more amazing individual because of it. Then you imagine removing the handcuffs of this situation because you don't need to keep lingering on the pain, you felt the pain and that has past and you have learned the lesson at hand and thus you have liberated yourself from ever having to experience this again. Bravo! Close the chapter, heck close the damn book, and open a new one, one where you don't know the ending and open your mind to how amazing the ending could be.
It's a radical idea right? We are raised to give, to serve, to put others before us- otherwise we are considered selfish, not a team player. From a very early age it is instilled in us that in order to become a good person we must do what is best for others. Thus, without directly saying it, we build our lives with ourselves being second.
But we didn't choose to come here in this life to serve those who we have yet to meet, we came here so that we could live our own lives and serve ourselves. It's crazy! If everyone walked around serving themselves we would have a horrible world. NO. On the contrary we currently live in a world where everyone believes it is bad to serve themselves so they are serving others half-heartedness and then are stealing what they can for themselves out of fear and shame. Think about it, when we are really happy and feeling really good about life, it's really easy to be an awesome person for everyone around us. If we are constantly living in a state of giving, with a fear of receiving, we will eventually become depleted, depressed, bitter. So many of us already ARE in a place of depletion, believing that we are doing the world some kind of justice through our service, but ultimately nobody is being served.
What if we trusted that we are all beautiful, wonderful people and as such we are fully capable of filling our cups first then turning to those around us and serving from a place of love and joy? Similarly, we do not need to fill the cups of others! There is plenty of wine to go around, we don't need to give others our wine, we need to teach others how to hold out the cup and ask. When we can learn to do this we will no longer live a life of service, but a life of power. We are not here to serve others, we are here to serve ourselves and be an example to others of what true love & power really is.
Be the light, and let the light shine into the world around you. That is true service. That is true power. That is true love. In this scenario, where we work on ourselves first, the whole world wins. The individual is happy, receiving everything they need to feel loved and fulfilled, those around them are served because now they have this amazing, wonderful individual in their life that is more than willing to share the joy that they feel. All are happy, all are served.
So go ahead, light your fire and burn so brightly that nobody needs to ask you for light.
Do you want to know how to make your Soul shine? Connect with it in a Soul Realignment reading! Rekindle the fire within you to live the life you always knew you were capable of.
Chelsea M Latham
When I was a kid my mom would occasionally refer to me as a Reverend, because I had the need to speak so passionately about just about everything. Little did she know that some day I would build a business upon sharing the wisdom that I am so passionate about. So here you go, here are some bits and bobs of thoughts strung together for your enjoyment.